When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station...... and then the fight
started....
************************************************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left
my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would
have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened
my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on
your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security
application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
experience at the
Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your
pants. You might have gotten
disability, too' And then the fight started......
***********************************************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and
I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone
at a nearby table. My wife asked,' Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed,
'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after
we split up those many years ago, and I hear
she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a
person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started.....
***********************************************************************
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
you just get soooo stressed and
little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a
DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM
NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one
are you?' And that's how the fight started..... ______________________________
expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station...... and then the fight
started....
************************************************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left
my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would
have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened
my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on
your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security
application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
experience at the
Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your
pants. You might have gotten
disability, too' And then the fight started......
***********************************************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and
I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone
at a nearby table. My wife asked,' Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed,
'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after
we split up those many years ago, and I hear
she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a
person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started.....
***********************************************************************
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
you just get soooo stressed and
little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a
DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM
NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one
are you?' And that's how the fight started..... ______________________________
