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Jokes of the day!

Users who viewed this discussion (Total:4)

weesie

Lifetime Streaker
Joined
Feb 21, 2009
Messages
1,853
Likes
0
#1
  • -------------------------
    Jack Daniels Fishing Story
    -------------------------

    I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.

    Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

    Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

    A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. It was that snake, with two more frogs.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



    • -------------------------
      Wooded Ravine
      -------------------------

      One fine day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.
      The brush is quite thick, but Jim searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.

      Jim calls out to his golfing partner in an agitated voice, "Hey Bob, come here, I got trouble down here."

      Bob comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out, "What's the matter Jim?"

      Jim shouts back, "Throw me my 7-iron! You can't get out of here with an 8-iron."​
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  • Thought of the Day:

    “There comes a time in your life,
    when you walk away from all the drama
    and people who create it.
    You surround yourself with people
    who make you laugh.
    Forget the bad, and focus on the good.
    Love the people who treat you right,
    pray for the ones who don’t.
    Life is too short to be anything but happy.
    Falling down is a part of life,
    getting back up is living.”

    ~ Author Unknown​
 

Wisp

Junior Streaker
Joined
Nov 19, 2011
Messages
87
Likes
0
#2
Since there seems to be an outdoor theme I thought I'd put my two cents in...

What do you call a blind deer in the forest?
-------no eye deer
What do you call a blind, leggless deer in the forest?
-------still no eye deer
What do you call a blind, leggless deer mating in the forest?
-------still no f****ing eye deer
:ohboy

A doe walks out of the forest bowlegged and says "That's the last time I do that for ten bucks"
 

vixen777

Owner
Staff member
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
41,705
Likes
38
#17
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/-ssXJtzFOjA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Have your volume on!
 

judyb57

Newbie Streaker
Joined
Feb 20, 2008
Messages
0
Likes
0
#19
Football FINALLY makes sense..........

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and
all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they
were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the
rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"
 

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