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"THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!! (CLOSED)
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Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I r emember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came.
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
....at.....
...
....
....
....
.......
.......
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.......
..........
.........
.........
.........
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.........
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.........
..........
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At milking a cow...
im home.......WOOT
It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I r emember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came.
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
....at.....
...
....
....
....
.......
.......
........
......
......
.......
..........
.........
.........
.........
..........
.........
........
.........
..........
..........
At milking a cow...
im home.......WOOT
Hey mirrors, you FINALLY made it!!!! Good luck hon and nice to see you HOME!!! Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
This contest was made for me, bwahahahaaa!!! :grinclap
First one, back when I was first married to my now ex, I decided to give him a surprise. I got a black marker and drew a smiley face on his "little friend."
Slept through it too! He woke up and went in the bathroom, next thing I hear is him freaking out!
It did eventually wash off, LOL!
This contest was made for me, bwahahahaaa!!! :grinclap
First one, back when I was first married to my now ex, I decided to give him a surprise. I got a black marker and drew a smiley face on his "little friend."
Slept through it too! He woke up and went in the bathroom, next thing I hear is him freaking out!
It did eventually wash off, LOL!
Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
Here's a good one for you!
A friend of mine invited me to a party she was going to, a "sex toy" party. Yeah. I'm not seeing anyone right now, and I don't get into the whole vibrator/ toy thing, but I thought it would be worth a few laughs, so I decided to go.
*Spoiler for any guys reading this: No, there was no "hot girl action" going on there*
So, on to the party! It was held at a woman's house that my friend knew, and there was about 15 of us total, plus the lady who came in dragging a huge case that held every strange sexual device known to man, ( or woman ). We're all sitting around and the party starts with the passing out of little party favors. Tiny ***** erasers in various colors, to accompany the pencils we had been given along with an order form. As I'm looking at the order form, I come across things called "The Rabbit," things with various speeds like "Medium, fast, and Who Needs A Man!", edible articles of tiny clothing, you get the idea.
First off, were a large variety of vibrators available in almost any color you like. Some were battery operated, and many looked like mini ICBM missiles. While some of these were passed around, I presume to get an idea for "texture and size". I'm sitting there chuckling at this point, and then the saleswoman brought out what can only be described as the "giant gummy worm from hell."
It's huge, pink, and has two heads. Very rubbery. Now I'm really laughing, and asked what the resistance was if bent into a U-shape. This got the group laughing with me. So a couple of them decided to check out the giant gummy worm, and the next product to be shown was the dreaded "Ben Wah balls."
If you've never heard of them, they're various sized stainless steel balls on a string, to be inserted into your lover's ass then slowly pulled out. Just think of a giant bead necklace, that's about it. So as the ladies oooh and aah over this, I asked, "Well, what happens if you pull them out and all you have is the string?!" More laughing. "Plus if your partner has gas, he or she could be considered the most dangerous BB gun in history!" At this point the ladies are braying like donkeys. Keep in mind that it wasn't my intention to make jokes, but I'm a natural heckler, and given the theme, well who would'nt make a few remarks?
Then there comes "The Sling." This you hang in a doorway to have sex, provided your partner doesn't weigh enough to break the doorjamb. Not to be rude...oh hell, why not? I couldn't imagine some of them using that. We're talking barrel-chested, flannel wearing she-beasts at this party. I don't think so.
After viewing a dazzling array of gels, lotions, books for tips and tricks, *snicker*
we arrive at last to the wonderful world of condoms! There's plain, ribbed, lubricated, flavored (?!) and so many colors, you'll be riding the rainbow! Then there were the glow in the dark ones. Another comment comes out of my mouth. "If my ex wore one of those glow in the dark ones, it would've resembled a small, dying little nightlight." That did it, they were running to the tissues after that one.
Fortunately the saleswoman was a good sport about my heckling, and everyone had a great time.
Did I order anything? No, but on occassion I do use my little ***** eraser.
Here's a good one for you!
A friend of mine invited me to a party she was going to, a "sex toy" party. Yeah. I'm not seeing anyone right now, and I don't get into the whole vibrator/ toy thing, but I thought it would be worth a few laughs, so I decided to go.
*Spoiler for any guys reading this: No, there was no "hot girl action" going on there*
So, on to the party! It was held at a woman's house that my friend knew, and there was about 15 of us total, plus the lady who came in dragging a huge case that held every strange sexual device known to man, ( or woman ). We're all sitting around and the party starts with the passing out of little party favors. Tiny ***** erasers in various colors, to accompany the pencils we had been given along with an order form. As I'm looking at the order form, I come across things called "The Rabbit," things with various speeds like "Medium, fast, and Who Needs A Man!", edible articles of tiny clothing, you get the idea.
First off, were a large variety of vibrators available in almost any color you like. Some were battery operated, and many looked like mini ICBM missiles. While some of these were passed around, I presume to get an idea for "texture and size". I'm sitting there chuckling at this point, and then the saleswoman brought out what can only be described as the "giant gummy worm from hell."
It's huge, pink, and has two heads. Very rubbery. Now I'm really laughing, and asked what the resistance was if bent into a U-shape. This got the group laughing with me. So a couple of them decided to check out the giant gummy worm, and the next product to be shown was the dreaded "Ben Wah balls."
If you've never heard of them, they're various sized stainless steel balls on a string, to be inserted into your lover's ass then slowly pulled out. Just think of a giant bead necklace, that's about it. So as the ladies oooh and aah over this, I asked, "Well, what happens if you pull them out and all you have is the string?!" More laughing. "Plus if your partner has gas, he or she could be considered the most dangerous BB gun in history!" At this point the ladies are braying like donkeys. Keep in mind that it wasn't my intention to make jokes, but I'm a natural heckler, and given the theme, well who would'nt make a few remarks?
Then there comes "The Sling." This you hang in a doorway to have sex, provided your partner doesn't weigh enough to break the doorjamb. Not to be rude...oh hell, why not? I couldn't imagine some of them using that. We're talking barrel-chested, flannel wearing she-beasts at this party. I don't think so.
After viewing a dazzling array of gels, lotions, books for tips and tricks, *snicker*
we arrive at last to the wonderful world of condoms! There's plain, ribbed, lubricated, flavored (?!) and so many colors, you'll be riding the rainbow! Then there were the glow in the dark ones. Another comment comes out of my mouth. "If my ex wore one of those glow in the dark ones, it would've resembled a small, dying little nightlight." That did it, they were running to the tissues after that one.
Fortunately the saleswoman was a good sport about my heckling, and everyone had a great time.
Did I order anything? No, but on occassion I do use my little ***** eraser.
LilbitCrayz
Senior Streaker
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2008
- Messages
- 240
Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
Since my honey is quite a few years older than me, I love to play jokes on him, like hiding his glasses, resetting the alarm, taking his car key off his key ring - ya know, just to freak him out and make him think he's losing his mind....its a blast!! The funniest thing, no matter how many times I do it, he never catches on...wow...he really is old!! LOL
He is a great gut and I'm lucky to have him!! But wow, think of the crap I can pull on himin the years to come!
LilbitCrayzzzzzz
Since my honey is quite a few years older than me, I love to play jokes on him, like hiding his glasses, resetting the alarm, taking his car key off his key ring - ya know, just to freak him out and make him think he's losing his mind....its a blast!! The funniest thing, no matter how many times I do it, he never catches on...wow...he really is old!! LOL
He is a great gut and I'm lucky to have him!! But wow, think of the crap I can pull on himin the years to come!
LilbitCrayzzzzzz
Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
Hey gang...when I was a teenager (awhile back), a few of my friends decided to go party out at the top of the world (giant hill in a graveyard). We all were in a station wagon, and my boyfriend and I decided to have some naked fun under the covers. Daring for me now that I think about it. Well, as we were getting it on, we hear a knock on the window, and lo and behold its a cop. Talk about s*itting nickels. We were all plastered, and here my BF and I are all naked.
Well, the cop had allowed us to all sleep it off in the car, so no one would drink and drive.
Hey gang...when I was a teenager (awhile back), a few of my friends decided to go party out at the top of the world (giant hill in a graveyard). We all were in a station wagon, and my boyfriend and I decided to have some naked fun under the covers. Daring for me now that I think about it. Well, as we were getting it on, we hear a knock on the window, and lo and behold its a cop. Talk about s*itting nickels. We were all plastered, and here my BF and I are all naked.
Well, the cop had allowed us to all sleep it off in the car, so no one would drink and drive.
Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
One winter when I was about 16, some friends and I decided to go out and be "naughty"
We went to the topmost floor of a downtown parking grage at 3am and had a snowball fight...soon we got bored with that...so the 4 of us started tossing snowballs out onto the expressway. Just as I tossed one a cop car went by. We all ducked and as soon as we heard THUMP! WHOOOO.... we split..two groups of two....I ended up hiding on the steps moving up and down as the cops headlights approached the level I was on...My other two friends hid between two cars and managed to avoid getting busted...we still have a good laugh remembering that one....
Another time..because I guess I hadn't learned a lesson about throwing things onto busy roads.......a friend and I were chucking water baloons out a 3rd story window....my warning to anyone...DON'T DO THAT! I would have never thought what happened next. I tossed one ( yeah it was my toss again...what's up with THAT??!!) and it hit a minivan square in the windshield and busted ....... the windshield...the balloon actually bounced off...hit the road...bounced again...and rolled to the curb...where it stayed in one unbroken piece....my friend and I took off like our pants were on fire...down the steps and out the back door of the building....after that I learned to quite throwing stuff because apparently anything I throw hits something I will wish it hadn't.
One winter when I was about 16, some friends and I decided to go out and be "naughty"
We went to the topmost floor of a downtown parking grage at 3am and had a snowball fight...soon we got bored with that...so the 4 of us started tossing snowballs out onto the expressway. Just as I tossed one a cop car went by. We all ducked and as soon as we heard THUMP! WHOOOO.... we split..two groups of two....I ended up hiding on the steps moving up and down as the cops headlights approached the level I was on...My other two friends hid between two cars and managed to avoid getting busted...we still have a good laugh remembering that one....
Another time..because I guess I hadn't learned a lesson about throwing things onto busy roads.......a friend and I were chucking water baloons out a 3rd story window....my warning to anyone...DON'T DO THAT! I would have never thought what happened next. I tossed one ( yeah it was my toss again...what's up with THAT??!!) and it hit a minivan square in the windshield and busted ....... the windshield...the balloon actually bounced off...hit the road...bounced again...and rolled to the curb...where it stayed in one unbroken piece....my friend and I took off like our pants were on fire...down the steps and out the back door of the building....after that I learned to quite throwing stuff because apparently anything I throw hits something I will wish it hadn't.
Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
I remember another time when I was 16. Back then the legal drinking age was 18. Well, my girlfriend and I wanted to drink, well we knew we were too young to buy alochol, so what we did was..I dressed up as a pregnant woman and then walked into the liquor store,grabbed our alcohol, went to pay for it, and actually got away with it without being carded. LOL, the guts I had back when I was younger. :streakchips
I remember another time when I was 16. Back then the legal drinking age was 18. Well, my girlfriend and I wanted to drink, well we knew we were too young to buy alochol, so what we did was..I dressed up as a pregnant woman and then walked into the liquor store,grabbed our alcohol, went to pay for it, and actually got away with it without being carded. LOL, the guts I had back when I was younger. :streakchips
Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
Whip me, beat me, treat me like a bad girl. LOL
Ok, just this past weekend we were partying with the neighbor. We all were getting pretty drunk and my sister said,"if you go and put your naughty school girl outfit on, I will go put my cheer leader outfit on." So, I of course being preety buzzed up said,"yea,ok."
We got back to the party with our outfits on, and our significant others had came up with a plan for us wo girls to oil wrestle. They had the slippery rafts all blowed up and oiled down for us. Of course the men were all excited to see this. We wrestled very little and then danced on his bar for them.
Yes, I am a bad, bad girl. HEHE!! :linedance
Whip me, beat me, treat me like a bad girl. LOL
Ok, just this past weekend we were partying with the neighbor. We all were getting pretty drunk and my sister said,"if you go and put your naughty school girl outfit on, I will go put my cheer leader outfit on." So, I of course being preety buzzed up said,"yea,ok."
We got back to the party with our outfits on, and our significant others had came up with a plan for us wo girls to oil wrestle. They had the slippery rafts all blowed up and oiled down for us. Of course the men were all excited to see this. We wrestled very little and then danced on his bar for them.
Yes, I am a bad, bad girl. HEHE!! :linedance
ring657130
Senior Streaker
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2008
- Messages
- 307
Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
Ok My husband absolutely HATES snakes...I myself do not like them but my adopted son 's girlfriend has 2 boa pythons. just babies no older than 6 months ..I always joke and tease how he truly screams like a GIRL...Seriously he is so high pitched he can break glass..lol. 2 weeks ago, Kelly decided to play a trick on him, and said I have something for you . She told him to reach in her coat pocket, and "they both were curled in balls" and I tried first so he couldn't tell what it was....He put his hand in, and out they came until he SAW what they were! Scream wasn't what I'd call it..try PETRIFIED!!! His eyes were like SOFTBALLS and he did not scream....He was mad at me for 2 days, and kept dreaming about those snakes. He said why would I let her do something like that when I KNOW how terrified of snakes he is. He said it felt like his heart stopped, and he couldn't move...OH well...Don't want to give him a heart attack...or do I???? Anyone that knows my husband would say he deserved it!!
Ok My husband absolutely HATES snakes...I myself do not like them but my adopted son 's girlfriend has 2 boa pythons. just babies no older than 6 months ..I always joke and tease how he truly screams like a GIRL...Seriously he is so high pitched he can break glass..lol. 2 weeks ago, Kelly decided to play a trick on him, and said I have something for you . She told him to reach in her coat pocket, and "they both were curled in balls" and I tried first so he couldn't tell what it was....He put his hand in, and out they came until he SAW what they were! Scream wasn't what I'd call it..try PETRIFIED!!! His eyes were like SOFTBALLS and he did not scream....He was mad at me for 2 days, and kept dreaming about those snakes. He said why would I let her do something like that when I KNOW how terrified of snakes he is. He said it felt like his heart stopped, and he couldn't move...OH well...Don't want to give him a heart attack...or do I???? Anyone that knows my husband would say he deserved it!!
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